October 29
Good Morning... Well I tried but 3 am calls my name, I even stayed in bed till 3:30 but my head was spinning...So I complied... Facebook has become very therapeutic for me, a way to share my thoughts and feelings, and give me a voice. Many people have commented that they are enjoying me sharing my feelings and have asked me to continue which much to some peoples chi-grin I will gratefully say yes...and thank you...
I had a friend, apparently my only atheist friend he says, message me privately and said I didn't know you were so spiritual is this something that happened recently? so I started to type privately to him and then thought no.... I need to share this.....I have always been spiritual but I was very private about it as I know it can turn people off. ( don't judge me Christians who can shout it from the roof tops, remember God made us all unique with different gifts and talents) I don't want to be one of those bible thumping hypocrites, I would never want to be the person to turn you off something so wonderful, so I pray for you whether you know it or not and ask god to put the roof top Christian in your life ( sneaky yes but it works). I am a born again christian that struggles every day with sinning and I ask God to forgive me daily and help me be a better person. I know with all my heart He loves me and He is there for me..Walking beside and holding my hand and in dark days when I have no strength he carries me. I have felt God's breathe on my face in moments for pure peace when I have been on my knees and have cried at the tops of my lungs where are you? only to find out he was exactly where he should be it was me that had moved away... How do you think I got the name Hope.. When you walk through the fires like I have in my past you have to be able to cling to something or someone and I Choose God or should I say He choose me.... I don't know how people get through stuff with out faith. I know God has a plan for me whether its 3 weeks or 3 years he will be by my side and he will give me the peace to go through it.. My favourite or one of my favourite verses in the bible is: Jeremiah 29:11 I claim it as my life verse...."For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." It is extremely comforting to me...Anyone who knows me or asks me about God knows I share very easily, but I don't go throwing it around. I like it when people ask me are you a Christian? because I know I am doing something right if they see something different in me before I have to announce it, right or wrong this is me... I have great peace going through this journey, I believe that God has had his hand on my life for a very long time and has given me a plan and has prospered me and I don't ( might be eating my words in few weeks lol ) think he's done with me yet... I think there are more plans and there is still more future for me..what ever that means maybe it is 3 weeks or 21 days or what ever but I believe that every day is a step and a blessing, so much good has come out of this already. The love and prayers and support, the peace, the rest, the friends, the healed relationships, the loss of all my stress and worrying about if I'm doing the right thing? ( a bigy for me) and have I given back enough have I been grateful enough have I showed kindness and genuine concern, everyday I have carried a burden of wanting to give back to help other people and feeling like I need to do more. I have ( as said so many times) been so blessed and in the last 21 years so many people have helped me on my journey to where I am, people who prayed for me and my kids, or help with practical things like food or buying me glasses when I went to school. Or even paid a large oil bill for me that was supposed to be paid by someone I took in as rent and left me without any knowledge of what they had done to me and my 4 kids in the beginning of winter. I had no possible way of coming up with that money and prayed that God would provide and my dear atheist friend, God has blessed me through you whether you knew it or not God has used you and blessed me because of you and your generosity and not even thinking twice you pulled out $1400.00 went right to the oil company and paid it so we could have heat. Even thought that was 12 or so years its because of God using people like you who I feel so responsible to pay it forward. I am here and have come so far because of being blessed by angels and you sir my dear atheist friend are on the top of my list... You have the gift of humour and can light my heart up with just a mere thought of you. You have displayed more Christian Characteristics and selfless love and giving then half of the people is some of the best churches around the world whether you know it or not you have a Christlike characteristic that if your not careful God just might use again....I love you dear sir and you are special to me and I don't mind shouting that from the roof top!!!!
So today I start the first of ten days of radiation and I believe with my faith all my heart and Gods strength I will walk through this fire and it will not burn me, I will walk through the river and it will not sweep over me, I have the peace that passeth all understanding and I will be here and this radiation will work, I will continue on to other treatments and sorry my dear friends you might have created and monster and have many years of reading these daily rants and raves....Love you all and may God bless you today...
PS my hubby really needs prayer he is not doing well!!! send a little love his way, he is my big teddy bear and not the strong tower that most men want to be....lol
I had a friend, apparently my only atheist friend he says, message me privately and said I didn't know you were so spiritual is this something that happened recently? so I started to type privately to him and then thought no.... I need to share this.....I have always been spiritual but I was very private about it as I know it can turn people off. ( don't judge me Christians who can shout it from the roof tops, remember God made us all unique with different gifts and talents) I don't want to be one of those bible thumping hypocrites, I would never want to be the person to turn you off something so wonderful, so I pray for you whether you know it or not and ask god to put the roof top Christian in your life ( sneaky yes but it works). I am a born again christian that struggles every day with sinning and I ask God to forgive me daily and help me be a better person. I know with all my heart He loves me and He is there for me..Walking beside and holding my hand and in dark days when I have no strength he carries me. I have felt God's breathe on my face in moments for pure peace when I have been on my knees and have cried at the tops of my lungs where are you? only to find out he was exactly where he should be it was me that had moved away... How do you think I got the name Hope.. When you walk through the fires like I have in my past you have to be able to cling to something or someone and I Choose God or should I say He choose me.... I don't know how people get through stuff with out faith. I know God has a plan for me whether its 3 weeks or 3 years he will be by my side and he will give me the peace to go through it.. My favourite or one of my favourite verses in the bible is: Jeremiah 29:11 I claim it as my life verse...."For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." It is extremely comforting to me...Anyone who knows me or asks me about God knows I share very easily, but I don't go throwing it around. I like it when people ask me are you a Christian? because I know I am doing something right if they see something different in me before I have to announce it, right or wrong this is me... I have great peace going through this journey, I believe that God has had his hand on my life for a very long time and has given me a plan and has prospered me and I don't ( might be eating my words in few weeks lol ) think he's done with me yet... I think there are more plans and there is still more future for me..what ever that means maybe it is 3 weeks or 21 days or what ever but I believe that every day is a step and a blessing, so much good has come out of this already. The love and prayers and support, the peace, the rest, the friends, the healed relationships, the loss of all my stress and worrying about if I'm doing the right thing? ( a bigy for me) and have I given back enough have I been grateful enough have I showed kindness and genuine concern, everyday I have carried a burden of wanting to give back to help other people and feeling like I need to do more. I have ( as said so many times) been so blessed and in the last 21 years so many people have helped me on my journey to where I am, people who prayed for me and my kids, or help with practical things like food or buying me glasses when I went to school. Or even paid a large oil bill for me that was supposed to be paid by someone I took in as rent and left me without any knowledge of what they had done to me and my 4 kids in the beginning of winter. I had no possible way of coming up with that money and prayed that God would provide and my dear atheist friend, God has blessed me through you whether you knew it or not God has used you and blessed me because of you and your generosity and not even thinking twice you pulled out $1400.00 went right to the oil company and paid it so we could have heat. Even thought that was 12 or so years its because of God using people like you who I feel so responsible to pay it forward. I am here and have come so far because of being blessed by angels and you sir my dear atheist friend are on the top of my list... You have the gift of humour and can light my heart up with just a mere thought of you. You have displayed more Christian Characteristics and selfless love and giving then half of the people is some of the best churches around the world whether you know it or not you have a Christlike characteristic that if your not careful God just might use again....I love you dear sir and you are special to me and I don't mind shouting that from the roof top!!!!
So today I start the first of ten days of radiation and I believe with my faith all my heart and Gods strength I will walk through this fire and it will not burn me, I will walk through the river and it will not sweep over me, I have the peace that passeth all understanding and I will be here and this radiation will work, I will continue on to other treatments and sorry my dear friends you might have created and monster and have many years of reading these daily rants and raves....Love you all and may God bless you today...
PS my hubby really needs prayer he is not doing well!!! send a little love his way, he is my big teddy bear and not the strong tower that most men want to be....lol
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