Sunday, 10 August 2014

Good Morning Team Awesome.
Well I just slept for 8 hours oh my goodness I feel good. I think the steroids are starting to leave the body...
I am want to thank you all for the upset and the rage over the way the circumstance has turned out with Brad and his job. Brad and I have talked over this and we want no ill will or to mention the name or company. We are here for positive good things and to drag this out and name names or create bad feelings is not what we are here for. For whatever the reasons it has turned out the way it has, I have to believe that this is what God intended for us. Maybe Brad shouldn’t be working maybe he is supposed to resting also. Sometimes in our minds we are so sure we know what we are doing, and are sure what we think we are doing but not so... At this point would Brad want work if the guy if called him under pressure or duress, that would be awkward and uncomfortable. So it is done and we are at peace with this |If all others things has worked out here so far then this is part of the plan also.. So we forgive this man and whatever the reasons he has done this....We are at peace...Again thank you so much for all the words and concern.
Yesterday I went and seen the movie “The 100 foot journey” with Brad and Nancy, with Helen Mirren and Om Puri performing, what a stunning performance, what an amazing movie oh my goodness you really need to go see it. It is so enthralling; you are sucked in and enjoy the pace of the movie you are just enveloped in the movie, just when you think it is going to ends the movie changes. I could go back again and watch it again and again. So if you are into feel good movies this is a wonderful night or afternoon.
So my mom comes tonight and I’m looking forward to seeing her. It will be nice to have my momma here...Looking forward to a stroke on the forehead and a hug and kiss. So her plane arrives at 530 with we will meet her with my aunt and uncle and cousins and then we will all go out for supper. Then she is going to stay at my aunts for 2 days while Nancy is here with me and then they will come here on Tuesday when Nancy goes home... It’s been nice with Nancy although I haven’t been a ball of energy here. I finally got to get an appointment to have a mani - pedi today with Nancy. Brad finally found a place that has two Pedi beds so we can actually have a mani - pedi together....It’s crazy they need more nail saloons we have been calling for days to try and find a place that will give two or three Pedi’s at the same time.
So that’s the new poop for the day. Feeling good, feeling rested. I am still going to go for a check up whether it’s today or not we are working that one out, most likely tomorrow. I’ll let you know how I make out.
Have a great day guys and thanks again for the prayers and concern. I love you all so much and thanks for walking with me on this daily journey. Also please share the poster I will be sharing for Hopes Cupcakes. Debbie from confetti cakes has started this fund raiser, she is an amazing baker and cake decorator please help share and support this by sharing with anyone you can please....

Photo: Good Morning Team Awesome.
Well I just slept for 8 hours oh my goodness I feel good. I think the steroids are starting to leave the body...
I am want to thank you all for the upset and the rage over the way the circumstance has turned out with Brad and his job. Brad and I have talked over this and we want no ill will or to mention the name or company. We are here for positive good things and to drag this out and name names or create bad feelings is not what we are here for. For whatever the reasons it has turned out the way it has, I have to believe that this is what God intended for us. Maybe Brad shouldn’t be working maybe he is supposed to resting also. Sometimes in our minds we are so sure we know what we are doing, and are sure what we think we are doing but not so... At this point would Brad want work if the guy if called him under pressure or duress, that would be awkward and uncomfortable. So it is done and we are at peace with this |If all others things has worked out here so far then this is part of the plan also.. So we forgive this man and whatever the reasons he has done this....We are at peace...Again thank you so much for all the words and concern. 
Yesterday I went and seen the movie “The 100 foot journey” with Brad and Nancy, with Helen Mirren and Om Puri performing, what a stunning performance, what an amazing movie oh my goodness you really need to go see it. It is so enthralling; you are sucked in and enjoy the pace of the movie you are just enveloped in the movie, just when you think it is going to ends the movie changes. I could go back again and watch it again and again. So if you are into feel good movies this is a wonderful night or afternoon.
So my mom comes tonight and I’m looking forward to seeing her. It will be nice to have my momma here...Looking forward to a stroke on the forehead and a hug and kiss. So her plane arrives at 530 with we will meet her with my aunt and uncle and cousins and then we will all go out for supper. Then she is going to stay at my aunts for 2 days while Nancy is here with me and then they will come here on Tuesday when Nancy goes home... It’s been nice with Nancy although I haven’t been a ball of energy here. I finally got to get an appointment to have a mani - pedi today with Nancy. Brad finally found a place that has two Pedi beds so we can actually have a mani - pedi together....It’s crazy they need more nail saloons we have been calling for days to try and find a place that will give two or three Pedi’s at the same time.
So that’s the new poop for the day. Feeling good, feeling rested. I am still going to go for a check up whether it’s today or not we are working that one out, most likely tomorrow. I’ll let you know how I make out. 
Have a great day guys and thanks again for the prayers and concern. I love you all so much and thanks for walking with me on this daily journey. Also please share the poster I will be sharing for Hopes Cupcakes. Debbie from confetti cakes has started this fund raiser, she is an amazing baker and cake decorator please help share and support this by sharing with anyone you can please....

Friday, 8 August 2014

 the office but at this point I think it is pretty clear the guy has jerked us around severely, Why I can’t fathom, he has been in contact with us the whole time and now nothing. He has put us in a terrible position and I am heart sick that he would do this to us knowing that I am sick and why we are here. How could someone with a conscience do this to us and without even a word to Brad, I call him a coward and a very unethical person. What do we do? I feel so bad for Brad... He feels bad but he hasn't done anything wrong. He has emailed another company to see if there is any other work, which there should be, it’s just trying to find someone with a connection on the island. All this stress doesn't help with my recoup. I think the stress is the worst thing for me. I've been really struggling with all the fluid again. My feet and legs are so bad it’s not funny. I’m trying getting some control over it but it’s bad. My feet and ankles are so swollen my feet are distorted. I know that all the fluid is not good on my heart. Trying to decide if I just go to a clinic and see if they will just give me a check up and then what does that cost? I haven’t figured out the OHIP verses a visitor on the island and I do have some insurance. I'm not really worried about this it’s just more shit to deal with right now. Which we knew could be an issue. So just need to make a decision and go for it. I think I will go to a clinic just for a checkup. I think it will give me some peace of mind...
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Thursday, 7 August 2014


 soon as you get here. So as soon as we got here the gentleman said take a week to settle and then I’ll give you your schedule. That has been two weeks and Brad has called and no problem. Now we are hearing nothing from this man. I am very upset and have been getting Brad to call and nothing. I wanted Brad to have this time for him with no stress and to do what it is that he does best. So I am calling out the big guns... that is you...I ask that you pray that God would work on this man conscience so badly that he can't do anything but call on Brad and keep his promises. Please and thank you.
Today, my friend Nancy Delcellier comes. I'm really looking forward to her visit. I am looking for some fun and hopefully my health will allow some...I am feeling a lot less blurry. I am tolerating cutting the steroids down which is making me very happy. I think I have been resting much more and (I think) I’m feeling stronger. There is not much muscle tone on me I’m a bag of mush but hopefully a few walks will help me to start building me up. I have made myself to try and start getting into a sleeping pattern. I am trying to make me start getting back into a routine once the steroids are gone. So I went to bed at 10 and then sleep to 3 am. So I sleptish for 5 hours or at least I stayed in bed for 5 hours. I was happy with that.
Well, that’s all I have for the day. I have great faith that we will hear from the sound company today...
Love you guys... now.......go get him....lol
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Wednesday, 6 August 2014

August 2
Team Awesome...
I feel pretty darn good this morning. I think I actually am feeling a little stronger; my blurred vision is getting better slowly. They did say this should be the roughest week and I should start peaking. Tomorrow I am going to try to get down to 1 steroid a day, which will be so nice. I have been trying to balance taking Morphine versus going up a steroid so it’s been a circus act, but the morphine has taken the edge off the pain so I think I have been doing the right thing. I was able to get the sugar in my blood down also, so that makes me feel better. Just because I’m terminal doesn’t mean I want card blanche to give excuses for ruining my body. I want to die as healthy as possible - if that makes sense...
So quiet today. Out to Carrs Oyster Bar to listen to a little band my hubby knows and a visit with the woman who wrote the book about her sons passing of lung cancer, as she works out there. Tonight, my Rutger goes home and my heart breaks that he is leaving. He's done such a wonderful job looking after me. He is an amazing cook and knows what I like. He always makes my 2 am snack and sits with me. I love this man so much we have had such a bonding moment, he is my son by choice and there is no better person I could have chosen. He has anticipated my every need, before I even knew it, his hand is where ever I needed , a touch, a hug, a kiss, a wipe of my tears, he has just build my heart up so much. The love and bond we have created is something that only God himself could give us. It breaks my heart that he has already lost his mom and for him to watch this breaks my heart even more, I will try all the harder to be the mom that is with him when he walks down the aisle, as he walks towards a beautiful wife. I want to here to hold his fist child... let’s just face it I want to be here... and I will do everything in heaven and earth to make this happen, again with prayer, love, and God’s might grace...so he fly’s out tonight and I await my good friend Nancy’s visit.
I am so happy with my henna head it has given me a real sense of power for some reason. I know it’s not really the look for me but once my face is down I think I can embrace it. I feel powerful and not so naked. The term "Henna Heals" is working for me...I went to the cancer center to show it off, but I have to remember where I am...PEI is a little slower here and really feels a little laid back and really it is..but thats the part I like...lol
Thank again guys for the prayers and all the wonderful comments on my henna head. I happy with it and that all the matters...
 (4 photos)
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Team Awesome, all I can do is sing my lament...indulge me...lol
feeling a little crazy tonight...
Ode to number 1 and 2...
Ode to no more pee and more poo...
I hate to see you go again,
I hate that I can’t 1 or 2
For now more pills I’ve added
One to go and one to stop, oh my poor tummy...
Number 1 and number 2
Oh I hate to see you go....
Don't forget to enjoy your go
I long the day that you will be there and I will sing my praises once more.....
No more ankles, no more toes...stubby stubs here I go.....
Oh I lament for my 1 and 2.....
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Sunday, 3 August 2014

 him immediately. We had the best time ever. I cried so hard when he left he was so wonderful and the bond that we had has grown even more. He is my son by choice and there is no sweeter gift. I really missed him at the 2 o’clock snack time i actually has to have a TV dinner, it was horrible. Usually he makes some sweet hot snack any ways it was horrible and I missed our 2-4 chatting.
Yesterday, I had said that I was going to take it easy and slow yea blew that away, I just ruined myself with all that I did. It’s funny because you think going to look at a wig doing, a few groceries and going for lunch would be easy but it wasn’t it. I was so weak at the end of the day I could hardly stand. I wept like a baby for a while. I had never felt so weak and total spent before, I felt so lost and actually scared for me...I never want to feel that way again; I really need to be careful it scared me how quickly my mind could take over with such negative thoughts...I must protect my mind from negativity.
Here are some f my pictures of my Rutger Chase Männik
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Saturday, 2 August 2014


Hope Stone added 4 new photos.
Just now · 
hink I have been doing the right things. I was able to get the sugar in the blood down also so that makes me feel better. Just because I’m terminal doesn’t mean I want card blanch to give excuses for ruining my body I want to dye as healthy as possible if that makes sense...
So quiet today out to Carrs Oyster Bar to listen to a little band my hubby knows and a visit with the woman who wrote the book about her sons passing of lung cancer, as she works out there. Tonight my Rutger goes home and my heart breaks that he is leaving. He has done such a wonderful job looking after me. He is an amazing cook and he knows what I like he always makes my 2 o’clock snack and sits with me. I love this man so much we have has such a bonding moment, he is my son by choice and he there is no better person I could have chosen. He has anticipated my every need, before I even knew it, his hand is where ever I needed , a touch, a hug, a kiss, a wipe of my tears, he has just build my heart up so much. The love and bond we have created is something that only God himself could give us. It breaks my heart that he has already lost his mom and for him to watch this breaks my heart even more, I will try all the harder to be the mom that is with him when he walks down the aisle, as he walks towards a beautiful wife. I want to here to hold his fist child... let’s just face it I want to be here... and I will do everything in heaven and earth to make this happen, again with prayer, love, and God’s might grace...so he fly’s out tonight and I await my good friend Nancy’s visit.
I am so happy with my henna head it has given me a real sense of power for some reason I know it’s not really the look for me but once my face is down I think I can embrace it, I feel powerful and I don’t feel so naked. The term Henna heals is working for me...I went to the cancer center to show it off, but I have to remember where I am...PEI slow and not to be offensive but really feels a little backwards here and really it is...lol
Thank again guys for the prayers and all the wonderful comments on my henna head. I happy with it and that all the matters...
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