Good Morning Team Awesome....Recoup day 17
I slept another 5 hours .YAAAAAAA!
I feel so much better today. I really needed the sleep,
My recoup is feeling a little better , My eyes are not as blurry and I feel a lot better, still exhaustion and waling issues but hopefully things are on the up swing..I have been able to get my sugar down to six again so i feel better about that..just dealing with a few head aches so I am choosing to take some morphine and take it one day at a time.So this is what I'm doing today as long as it works for me. I am sitting up more also as opposed to laying down all the time.
Chef Michael's staff confirmed last night that we are doing lunch at 11 and then going into the test kitchen to try a few of his new recipes. So,yesterday I went and had my head hennaed and I sat for 3 hours it was hard and I was exhausted but had a therapeutic experience. I know it doesn't really suit me, my face is still so swollen but I am testing waters to see what I can live with and adjust to. Once all this swelling of my face and neck is down it will look better, but you know I'm just not one of these people that can pick up funk. all just down understand people just change their hair or make up or style and ta daa they look good, that stuff just never works for me but I try,
I hate so much looking into the mirror, I just don;t see me,,,am I still there? is Hope Stone in their.. I really struggle how do I make me the best when I cant stand to look in the mirror. so how do i put makeup on or take care of me in any way as I just don't care I don't feel like putting makeup or anything on..i dont care what i look like right now but on the other hand I really care what I look like.. How do i get through this will the feelings catch up if i try? Will I ever feel like I look normal again?
Oh well no sense whining and I will try my best. This is me trying not to whine but its hard. So Rutger and I go on to spend a wonderful day with Chef Michael and his staff and I will drink in all the wonderful experiences this day....PS we still have killer lobster in the fridge... Rutger still can't even think about looking at that lobsters....
Thursday, 31 July 2014
Wednesday, 30 July 2014
Good morning Team Awesome….
Well day 16 recoup and it was good. I really rested today. I laid outside in the sun by the sea in a gravity chair, the salt breeze blew over me and the sun felt so sweet on the skin. I’m trying so hard to get my white head evenly toned but don’t want to bake what’s left…lol as you can tell my spirits are much better this morning.. I slept 5 hours and I feel amazing. I really needed to sleep and I give you guys all the praise and glory for your interceding prayers thank you, thank you, I really do count on you guys, you have so much power when you come together and agree on what I need though the Lord.
So today I go for the Henna tattoo on my head, I’m nervous - I want something different but I don’t want to look like a freak…but its temporary so I can live with it for a week or so. Who knows maybe it will be a whole new trend…lol
So I want to tell you a little story but I’m afraid I might offend a few people, trust me I apologize a head of time.
So with Rutger out here with us we have been trying to immerse him in all things island and for us too. Brad and I usually just rest and aren’t in to the touristy thing. So, this time we have just immersed ourselves in all things seafood because that’s what it’s all about. So we have had mussels, clams, oysters, haddock, cod, scallops, shrimp, chowders, fresh fried, baked anything we could think of….and it’s been really great not to mention the best fries on the island and we have been very very successful….So today we decided it was lobster night. And not in a restaurant, we decided to do live lobsters and do them ourselves… This is something I have done several times in my life and have no problem cooking live lobsters, till now.
We had major lobster trauma……SO HERE IS WHERE IF YOU ARE FAINT OF HEART JUST SCROOL DOWN...
I just want to state … I don’t not believe in creating any pain so this is just a flunky thing that happened and I took no joy it and was quiet horrified but it transpired so I must share...…lol
So like I’ve said - I’ve cooked lobster before, So yesterday we went to Victoria by the Sea and went to the wharf and picked out 3 1 ½ pound lobsters. As I said, Rutger had never had one so we wanted to do it right. When the woman picked them out of the cooler they were really feisty, I guess they were really fresh. She lifted them out one at a time and each time these lobsters where flailing their tails and shaking and very aggressive….I’m said "wow I’ve never seen such active lobsters before", but again they just were fresh caught so they were angry I guess…
So she said just keep them in the bag no water nothing just stick them in the fridge till we are ready to cook them, I politely just asked for her proper instruction to make sure I was doing them right… Basically exactly what I have done before except she said to cook them a lot longer than I would ever do but ok maybe just different species I will do what she said, I mean she is the one that deals with the little biters every day. So we get home and Rutger make a nice bowl of salad and some garlic butter with parsley, and garlic toast. So were prepared except for a pot or two. There wasn’t much here so Brad went out and borrowed one again not really what I was looking for we needed deep and tall but all we could get was a Dutch oven type one which was doable, not really what I wanted but hey were are roughing it. So we get two pots and fill them with water and a cup of salt in each one. Instructions boil water take bands off lobster place head down and let them boil. Start the time once the water starts to re-boil and then 20 minutes. Ok simple…so the water starts to boils and Rutger and I are taking the bands off this little sucker... he is not happy and why not I think he knows what is coming….so we plunge the first one in the boiling pot of water place the lid on quickly and stand back to do the next 2. When all of the sudden the lid jumps off the pot and this lobster starts flailing his tail, he completely jumps out of the pot. We quickly grab it and throw it back in the pot and put the lid on, again all of a sudden the lid comes off again and the tail is flailing. It’s like what kind of madness is this then all of sudden like a double act the lobster in the other pot kicks the lid off tail flailing back and forth. At this point Rutger is looking at me with this horrific look on his face he is white and pale and just about ready to throw up with the shock on his face…I’m just like what the ????? I’ve never even heard tell of this….Finally the bucking lobsters subside with one or two more ticks on the pots and with that silence… there is water all over that stove salt bubbling everywhere and the three of sitting looking like we have just done the worse thing in the world to these poor beasts. We get them boiled put them in a pan to start removing the sweet white meat, but even in death these puppies were defining us in any way possible they didn’t want to break apart the claws didn’t want to come off the shells were so thick we couldn’t break them with proper tools so out came hammers and anything we could get the meat out with, so finally picking shells off walls, meat on the walls, curtains, water and guts on the floor, ceiling and anywhere it could possibly be. So here we are the three of us sitting in a crime scene. Traumatized by our wonderful lobster dinner... Not… We couldn’t eat it, Brad just looked and said I can’t do it now; Rutger was just in Shock and feeling so bad about what the lobster went through… I grabbed a piece and said take that you bastard and slurped it down with defiance… so we have 30.00 worth of beautiful sweet meat in the fridge and no one could eat it…so I think perhaps steak with a wonderful lobster topping with a hollandaise sauce and baked Potato, and asparagus…to honour the 3 lives that were taken…lol
Cheers to you, you feisty lobsters but in the end we won albeit a little shell shocked (pardon the pun.)But we will enjoy you one way to the other…
Well day 16 recoup and it was good. I really rested today. I laid outside in the sun by the sea in a gravity chair, the salt breeze blew over me and the sun felt so sweet on the skin. I’m trying so hard to get my white head evenly toned but don’t want to bake what’s left…lol as you can tell my spirits are much better this morning.. I slept 5 hours and I feel amazing. I really needed to sleep and I give you guys all the praise and glory for your interceding prayers thank you, thank you, I really do count on you guys, you have so much power when you come together and agree on what I need though the Lord.
So today I go for the Henna tattoo on my head, I’m nervous - I want something different but I don’t want to look like a freak…but its temporary so I can live with it for a week or so. Who knows maybe it will be a whole new trend…lol
So I want to tell you a little story but I’m afraid I might offend a few people, trust me I apologize a head of time.
So with Rutger out here with us we have been trying to immerse him in all things island and for us too. Brad and I usually just rest and aren’t in to the touristy thing. So, this time we have just immersed ourselves in all things seafood because that’s what it’s all about. So we have had mussels, clams, oysters, haddock, cod, scallops, shrimp, chowders, fresh fried, baked anything we could think of….and it’s been really great not to mention the best fries on the island and we have been very very successful….So today we decided it was lobster night. And not in a restaurant, we decided to do live lobsters and do them ourselves… This is something I have done several times in my life and have no problem cooking live lobsters, till now.
We had major lobster trauma……SO HERE IS WHERE IF YOU ARE FAINT OF HEART JUST SCROOL DOWN...
I just want to state … I don’t not believe in creating any pain so this is just a flunky thing that happened and I took no joy it and was quiet horrified but it transpired so I must share...…lol
So like I’ve said - I’ve cooked lobster before, So yesterday we went to Victoria by the Sea and went to the wharf and picked out 3 1 ½ pound lobsters. As I said, Rutger had never had one so we wanted to do it right. When the woman picked them out of the cooler they were really feisty, I guess they were really fresh. She lifted them out one at a time and each time these lobsters where flailing their tails and shaking and very aggressive….I’m said "wow I’ve never seen such active lobsters before", but again they just were fresh caught so they were angry I guess…
So she said just keep them in the bag no water nothing just stick them in the fridge till we are ready to cook them, I politely just asked for her proper instruction to make sure I was doing them right… Basically exactly what I have done before except she said to cook them a lot longer than I would ever do but ok maybe just different species I will do what she said, I mean she is the one that deals with the little biters every day. So we get home and Rutger make a nice bowl of salad and some garlic butter with parsley, and garlic toast. So were prepared except for a pot or two. There wasn’t much here so Brad went out and borrowed one again not really what I was looking for we needed deep and tall but all we could get was a Dutch oven type one which was doable, not really what I wanted but hey were are roughing it. So we get two pots and fill them with water and a cup of salt in each one. Instructions boil water take bands off lobster place head down and let them boil. Start the time once the water starts to re-boil and then 20 minutes. Ok simple…so the water starts to boils and Rutger and I are taking the bands off this little sucker... he is not happy and why not I think he knows what is coming….so we plunge the first one in the boiling pot of water place the lid on quickly and stand back to do the next 2. When all of the sudden the lid jumps off the pot and this lobster starts flailing his tail, he completely jumps out of the pot. We quickly grab it and throw it back in the pot and put the lid on, again all of a sudden the lid comes off again and the tail is flailing. It’s like what kind of madness is this then all of sudden like a double act the lobster in the other pot kicks the lid off tail flailing back and forth. At this point Rutger is looking at me with this horrific look on his face he is white and pale and just about ready to throw up with the shock on his face…I’m just like what the ????? I’ve never even heard tell of this….Finally the bucking lobsters subside with one or two more ticks on the pots and with that silence… there is water all over that stove salt bubbling everywhere and the three of sitting looking like we have just done the worse thing in the world to these poor beasts. We get them boiled put them in a pan to start removing the sweet white meat, but even in death these puppies were defining us in any way possible they didn’t want to break apart the claws didn’t want to come off the shells were so thick we couldn’t break them with proper tools so out came hammers and anything we could get the meat out with, so finally picking shells off walls, meat on the walls, curtains, water and guts on the floor, ceiling and anywhere it could possibly be. So here we are the three of us sitting in a crime scene. Traumatized by our wonderful lobster dinner... Not… We couldn’t eat it, Brad just looked and said I can’t do it now; Rutger was just in Shock and feeling so bad about what the lobster went through… I grabbed a piece and said take that you bastard and slurped it down with defiance… so we have 30.00 worth of beautiful sweet meat in the fridge and no one could eat it…so I think perhaps steak with a wonderful lobster topping with a hollandaise sauce and baked Potato, and asparagus…to honour the 3 lives that were taken…lol
Cheers to you, you feisty lobsters but in the end we won albeit a little shell shocked (pardon the pun.)But we will enjoy you one way to the other…
Tuesday, 29 July 2014
Many people have asked me to have this reposted, as many has not seen it as my following has increased in size so here it is.
Good Morning Team AWESOME...day 12....oops 13... Nope 14, I just couldn't write yesterday or the day before… I'm struggling big time. I need some help and I don’t even know where to begin...
Again it is interesting that you guys know me so well, when I get quiet you know something is going on.
Well I am in a weird place health wise and not sure what I am to do. I think I need some advice, not that you guys know everything but I know there are so many of you that do have a lot of knowledge with health and nutrition, My body is giving me a real run for my money here and I starting to feel a little depression creeping in.. I try so hard to be positive and think on the good things but my body is betraying me and I am trying to work with it but it’s starting to piss me off... The whole control thing is becoming an issue and me not doing well with losing control especially over my body, the sleep thing is weighing big time on me, I getting maybe an hour or so a day and that doesn’t help with the weakness and blurry vision and the whole aura thing around my head, I have a horrible brain fog, my words are very slurry and having a hard time speaking, words are mixed up and that is very frustration, short term memory loss is not fun either. I feel stupid and yet I know I’m not, it’s just this head thing. One of the concerns with all the steroids that I am taking can make me diabetic, Brad has a kit so I’ve been checking my sugar which is usually 5 -6 which is perfect range but now my range is up to 12 and that is not good and I don’t want to add diabetic to my list of health concerns, so I am trying to drink green smoothies lots of kale cucumber celery lean protein and drink lots of water and greens. I am very week my left side is giving me a lot of grief my hand is doing weird things shaking and curling but I’m so weak on the left. I had to ask Brad to get a wheel chair for me and we were blessed that the red cross has lent us one for our whole visit, I’m hoping in a week or so I won’t need it but I’m thankful that I have it and I’m going to use it. Boy this is a hard on for me, but I just can’t do a very long walk; I am very off balance and shaky so why would I do this to myself, good bye pride I need help. I came out in the kitchen last night and leaned down to get something out of the fridge and I couldn’t get up I had no strength to get up. I fell on the floor and I sat there, it took me about 10 minutes for me to get to my hands and knees to be able to get to a chair and tried to get off the floor.
I mean I know that this was going to be rough but I guess I wasn’t really expecting how rough it was going to be. I am trying to doing 1 thing a day and rest in between. I am giving me B 12 shots with other vitamins. If anyone can help me so a few other things to maybe get me built up I would appreciate some advice. I did get some diabetic boost to help that way and I have some much green stuff for juicing, I guess I will just stay away from adding fruit to it thought and stick just to veggies...
This week there has been so many little blessings from God for me and I dare say that I am ashamed of complaining about all the health struggles. I had applied for a program called “Look Good Feel Good “in Ontario in preparation of losing my hair and they teach you make-up ideas for the pigment changes and all the other skin changes through the radiation etc.. Well I was accepted before I left but I cancelled as I just didn't feel like I needed yet I wasn't ready, So when I got here I thought I would ask Amy Dole to see if I could hook up with the cancer centre here in Charlottetown. So we got connected and it worked out well, I the course was yesterday afternoon and it was full, but at the last moment there was a cancellation and I was in. So I went and participated the best I could. I was weepy and there was a young girl that helped me apply my make-up and encourage me every step of the way. So I left with some beautiful new make-up and a little self-esteem. I have an appointment with a woman that does the head henna. I think it could be fun so I go on Wed to get that down. I am meeting Chef Michael’s at is place on Thursday for lunch and to test some of his recipes that are going it to his next cookbook he is working on. That will be exciting. so this is my week so far. please pray fr my health issues. I have been able to get down two 2 steroids so i hope the sleep thing will start to alleviate, but I NEED SOME PRAYER, HELP MY SPIRITS TO STAY UP AND HELP ME ENJOY THE NEXT COUPLE DAYS..
THANK GUYS I NEED YOU!
Again it is interesting that you guys know me so well, when I get quiet you know something is going on.
Well I am in a weird place health wise and not sure what I am to do. I think I need some advice, not that you guys know everything but I know there are so many of you that do have a lot of knowledge with health and nutrition, My body is giving me a real run for my money here and I starting to feel a little depression creeping in.. I try so hard to be positive and think on the good things but my body is betraying me and I am trying to work with it but it’s starting to piss me off... The whole control thing is becoming an issue and me not doing well with losing control especially over my body, the sleep thing is weighing big time on me, I getting maybe an hour or so a day and that doesn’t help with the weakness and blurry vision and the whole aura thing around my head, I have a horrible brain fog, my words are very slurry and having a hard time speaking, words are mixed up and that is very frustration, short term memory loss is not fun either. I feel stupid and yet I know I’m not, it’s just this head thing. One of the concerns with all the steroids that I am taking can make me diabetic, Brad has a kit so I’ve been checking my sugar which is usually 5 -6 which is perfect range but now my range is up to 12 and that is not good and I don’t want to add diabetic to my list of health concerns, so I am trying to drink green smoothies lots of kale cucumber celery lean protein and drink lots of water and greens. I am very week my left side is giving me a lot of grief my hand is doing weird things shaking and curling but I’m so weak on the left. I had to ask Brad to get a wheel chair for me and we were blessed that the red cross has lent us one for our whole visit, I’m hoping in a week or so I won’t need it but I’m thankful that I have it and I’m going to use it. Boy this is a hard on for me, but I just can’t do a very long walk; I am very off balance and shaky so why would I do this to myself, good bye pride I need help. I came out in the kitchen last night and leaned down to get something out of the fridge and I couldn’t get up I had no strength to get up. I fell on the floor and I sat there, it took me about 10 minutes for me to get to my hands and knees to be able to get to a chair and tried to get off the floor.
I mean I know that this was going to be rough but I guess I wasn’t really expecting how rough it was going to be. I am trying to doing 1 thing a day and rest in between. I am giving me B 12 shots with other vitamins. If anyone can help me so a few other things to maybe get me built up I would appreciate some advice. I did get some diabetic boost to help that way and I have some much green stuff for juicing, I guess I will just stay away from adding fruit to it thought and stick just to veggies...
This week there has been so many little blessings from God for me and I dare say that I am ashamed of complaining about all the health struggles. I had applied for a program called “Look Good Feel Good “in Ontario in preparation of losing my hair and they teach you make-up ideas for the pigment changes and all the other skin changes through the radiation etc.. Well I was accepted before I left but I cancelled as I just didn't feel like I needed yet I wasn't ready, So when I got here I thought I would ask Amy Dole to see if I could hook up with the cancer centre here in Charlottetown. So we got connected and it worked out well, I the course was yesterday afternoon and it was full, but at the last moment there was a cancellation and I was in. So I went and participated the best I could. I was weepy and there was a young girl that helped me apply my make-up and encourage me every step of the way. So I left with some beautiful new make-up and a little self-esteem. I have an appointment with a woman that does the head henna. I think it could be fun so I go on Wed to get that down. I am meeting Chef Michael’s at is place on Thursday for lunch and to test some of his recipes that are going it to his next cookbook he is working on. That will be exciting. so this is my week so far. please pray fr my health issues. I have been able to get down two 2 steroids so i hope the sleep thing will start to alleviate, but I NEED SOME PRAYER, HELP MY SPIRITS TO STAY UP AND HELP ME ENJOY THE NEXT COUPLE DAYS..
THANK GUYS I NEED YOU!
Thursday, 24 July 2014
Good Morning Team Awesome
Well day 10 recoup
It was a very interesting day for me. I am feeling very exhausted still, but there is an energy inside of me that I wish I could have on the outside, but it will come I know it. I'm just not a patient person as you all know too well.
I am starting to have problems eating again my face neck and throat is so swollen that eating is becoming an issue again, I can’t get solid food down again and it is so frustrating, I'm hungry but food is not starting to work, it started this morning. So I figure that maybe I will go buy a juicer today and do a juice fast for a few days hoping it will help maybe get some crap out of my body from all the drugs and treatment stuff and perhaps help me with some energy. If you have a couple good recipes for some high energy healthy good tasting juices I would greatly appreciate it. I am having issues with sleep again also I’m down to 1 or 2 hours a day again, which is really hard to feel rested when there just isn’t the rest. I know as I cut the steroids down it will get better and thankfully I was able to drop one steroid a day this week and I have no pain, just the blurred vison and dizziness etc... I did get a call today from my two doctors and two nurses checking up on me, they are booking tests for me and getting a plan together. I am a little nervous when they call and actually are there together wanting to check up on me. Trust me it’s nice but really it is scary. I actually walked down some stairs today down to the beach it took me a while but I did it. I have to enjoy the small things. I am trying to slowly make myself do a few things at a time.
This trip was a real a thought provoking decision for us wondering about safety for me being so far from my doctors, I have health insurance but with the cancer thing you never know what they will cover or not so it is risky but a 2 hour flight will get me to Oshawa if needed. With all the implications we decided it was worth the risk, so Brad and I decided that this would be good for me to rest and the final decision was brad getting a job here so we could afford to live here with no extra costs to us right now and this job allowed it to happened so we felt this was Gods leading and to this day I feel this is where we are supposed to be and I am so thankful.
Before I came I did a lot of thinking about some things I wanted to do before I go. How could I not think about my health, how can I not think about 50 brain tumor’s ,how could I not think of all of this, maybe I’m not going to get thought this one. I was scared and still am. I can fight and fight but my body has to help me out, and the doctors and the treatments etc. I have worked so hard over the last 21 years to make me a better person, I wanted to give back so badly and prove to everyone that I wasn’t a screw up as I was so screwed up as a teenager and I brought all these kids into the world and I wanted to make my kids good people and I didn’t want them raised in the environment that our life was leading to. So when I finally left a horrible life and start a new one I did it with a furry. Sometimes so focused that I have forgotten to live and enjoy what I was doing so focused so determined and so goal oriented that I could never possible do all that I wanted to. It was a very important for me to give back, I always felt like I have to give back that I owe so many people so many things... I’ve never given me props for anything I wanted to do, I’ve never done it big enough or good enough I have been so very hard on myself. I sometimes think I have given me cancer from all the self-induced stress I have put on me... 21 years of doing this, being my biggest critic trust me I know one could hurt me better than me…I can beat me better than anyone because I know my weaknesses. So with all this refection I decided I need to enjoy some life and get a lot easier on me. There always things I have wanted to do and I just don’t so it again hate to spend money always so afraid to be homeless with my kids so I save and hoard and stress everyday will I survive and of course I will I’ve or we have worked hard but now is the time to realize I can and deserve to enjoy some of the fruits of my labours. So with all this I decided to do a few things and you know what some of the things I want to do is becoming a reality. They are popping up and I am blown away is this God Blessing me? I wanted to see Chef Michael and look what happened, bigger than I could imagine. I have tickets to see Russell Peters in October; I’m so excited I just love his comedy. I was telling Brad that one thing I always wanted to do was go to Burton Cummings concert I always wanted to but I just wouldn’t spend the money, so Brad said when we get back home he will figure it out and we are going. So yesterday Brad Rutger and I did a down town tour on the harbour hippo and it was great, this year is the 150 concert and anniversary celebration for PEI, hence the job available for Brad.
So they have a very special environment for a bunch of free concerts down at the harbour, so after the harbour hippo ride I asked brad to check it out and see if there was anything we would like to do or see. So are you ready for this. Tonight Burton Cummings is doing a free concert…REALLY! Can you believe that? Not only am I going to see him finally, but Brad use to teach at the recording arts studio in Toronto, so as he was going to see how we could do this get me there and make sure I am comfort able. A guy looked at Brad and said hey I know you; you were my teacher in Toronto. So this just happens to be the boss of the sound crew and Brad talked with him and they have gotten a VIP pass and area for me to sit and be right there??? Can you freaking believe this…I can’t. You know what when God is good to me I’m always so scared what will he require of me what do I owe now. I know all unhealthy perception of my Father God... I am a work in progress but I am blown away by his goodness. How can anyone say this is a coincidence and not a gift from a very loving Father? I can’t, and I won’t, and I am going to soak in and enjoy the night with my wonderful hero’s by my side, so today I rest and get ready for one more Gift from my Loving god!
so one of my favourite songs I have too...lol
Well day 10 recoup
It was a very interesting day for me. I am feeling very exhausted still, but there is an energy inside of me that I wish I could have on the outside, but it will come I know it. I'm just not a patient person as you all know too well.
I am starting to have problems eating again my face neck and throat is so swollen that eating is becoming an issue again, I can’t get solid food down again and it is so frustrating, I'm hungry but food is not starting to work, it started this morning. So I figure that maybe I will go buy a juicer today and do a juice fast for a few days hoping it will help maybe get some crap out of my body from all the drugs and treatment stuff and perhaps help me with some energy. If you have a couple good recipes for some high energy healthy good tasting juices I would greatly appreciate it. I am having issues with sleep again also I’m down to 1 or 2 hours a day again, which is really hard to feel rested when there just isn’t the rest. I know as I cut the steroids down it will get better and thankfully I was able to drop one steroid a day this week and I have no pain, just the blurred vison and dizziness etc... I did get a call today from my two doctors and two nurses checking up on me, they are booking tests for me and getting a plan together. I am a little nervous when they call and actually are there together wanting to check up on me. Trust me it’s nice but really it is scary. I actually walked down some stairs today down to the beach it took me a while but I did it. I have to enjoy the small things. I am trying to slowly make myself do a few things at a time.
This trip was a real a thought provoking decision for us wondering about safety for me being so far from my doctors, I have health insurance but with the cancer thing you never know what they will cover or not so it is risky but a 2 hour flight will get me to Oshawa if needed. With all the implications we decided it was worth the risk, so Brad and I decided that this would be good for me to rest and the final decision was brad getting a job here so we could afford to live here with no extra costs to us right now and this job allowed it to happened so we felt this was Gods leading and to this day I feel this is where we are supposed to be and I am so thankful.
Before I came I did a lot of thinking about some things I wanted to do before I go. How could I not think about my health, how can I not think about 50 brain tumor’s ,how could I not think of all of this, maybe I’m not going to get thought this one. I was scared and still am. I can fight and fight but my body has to help me out, and the doctors and the treatments etc. I have worked so hard over the last 21 years to make me a better person, I wanted to give back so badly and prove to everyone that I wasn’t a screw up as I was so screwed up as a teenager and I brought all these kids into the world and I wanted to make my kids good people and I didn’t want them raised in the environment that our life was leading to. So when I finally left a horrible life and start a new one I did it with a furry. Sometimes so focused that I have forgotten to live and enjoy what I was doing so focused so determined and so goal oriented that I could never possible do all that I wanted to. It was a very important for me to give back, I always felt like I have to give back that I owe so many people so many things... I’ve never given me props for anything I wanted to do, I’ve never done it big enough or good enough I have been so very hard on myself. I sometimes think I have given me cancer from all the self-induced stress I have put on me... 21 years of doing this, being my biggest critic trust me I know one could hurt me better than me…I can beat me better than anyone because I know my weaknesses. So with all this refection I decided I need to enjoy some life and get a lot easier on me. There always things I have wanted to do and I just don’t so it again hate to spend money always so afraid to be homeless with my kids so I save and hoard and stress everyday will I survive and of course I will I’ve or we have worked hard but now is the time to realize I can and deserve to enjoy some of the fruits of my labours. So with all this I decided to do a few things and you know what some of the things I want to do is becoming a reality. They are popping up and I am blown away is this God Blessing me? I wanted to see Chef Michael and look what happened, bigger than I could imagine. I have tickets to see Russell Peters in October; I’m so excited I just love his comedy. I was telling Brad that one thing I always wanted to do was go to Burton Cummings concert I always wanted to but I just wouldn’t spend the money, so Brad said when we get back home he will figure it out and we are going. So yesterday Brad Rutger and I did a down town tour on the harbour hippo and it was great, this year is the 150 concert and anniversary celebration for PEI, hence the job available for Brad.
So they have a very special environment for a bunch of free concerts down at the harbour, so after the harbour hippo ride I asked brad to check it out and see if there was anything we would like to do or see. So are you ready for this. Tonight Burton Cummings is doing a free concert…REALLY! Can you believe that? Not only am I going to see him finally, but Brad use to teach at the recording arts studio in Toronto, so as he was going to see how we could do this get me there and make sure I am comfort able. A guy looked at Brad and said hey I know you; you were my teacher in Toronto. So this just happens to be the boss of the sound crew and Brad talked with him and they have gotten a VIP pass and area for me to sit and be right there??? Can you freaking believe this…I can’t. You know what when God is good to me I’m always so scared what will he require of me what do I owe now. I know all unhealthy perception of my Father God... I am a work in progress but I am blown away by his goodness. How can anyone say this is a coincidence and not a gift from a very loving Father? I can’t, and I won’t, and I am going to soak in and enjoy the night with my wonderful hero’s by my side, so today I rest and get ready for one more Gift from my Loving god!
so one of my favourite songs I have too...lol
Wednesday, 23 July 2014
Good Morning Team Awesome,
So day 8 recoup……
(Singing)I had the time of my Life………………………..
I don’t even know if I can write all the amazing things that
have happened to me to day.
So you all know I was going to Chef Michael thing at his
wonderful Community Hall in Fortune Bay today.
For those who don’t know Chef Michael he came to PEI 21-23 years ago…and
he loves it here and he is a true spirit of the land and he is a truer part of
the island… he is so gentle and he is so tall, and he is so real. He loves the
land and the community and when you see him talking about this island and the
food he gets from here it is like wow… he loves his family and the community
and the food and everything, his passion for the land and community almost out
shine his love of cooking.
So going tonight with blinders on just wanted to be
there. So we bought VIP passes go big or
stay home…40 bucks big deal…
So we got to go an hour early and spend the time with him,
again Rutger and I didn’t know what to expect it was pretty loosey goosy. So we
were first at the door, and Chef Michael opened and welcomed us in. So we went in and the first station… local
brewed gin and tonic with mint, and juniper berry. Great starts… then we were
ushered over t Chef Michael’s table where he was shucking fresh oysters….Never
in my life did I ever think I would try oysters, you know slimy, raw etc., but
Rutger and I said we are doing everything trying everything no stopping. So he shucked us and oyster and then put
frozen Bloody Mary on it…OMG!!!!!! Taste buds singing……LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAA
I’m in heaven, yes in
heaven. So we ate oysters and drank different
gins, one form the north side of the island and one form the south side of the
island and the gins were very different, Rutger liked the north shore and I
liked the south shore. Rutger had 4 and
was feeling pretty good….lol
So after an hour were there shuffled into the community hall
into so VIP seats. Where we sat and Chef
Michael presented a slide show of his kids cooking and his family and his home
and community again you could see the love this man had for his community… at
this time he did a few displays making bread in a minute, teaching the best way
to make salad dressing etc. We were then
asked to go outside for fresh mussels and fresh bread. The mussels were bacon beer and whole wheat
bread absolutely delicious, Rutger and I each ate two helpings craving more but
no room.
So after eating we were called back in and told that there
was going to be a special auction for the community hall, I knew right and then
what I was doing. I was going to leave a
piece of me in this community, whatever the auction Item, it was mine….
Rutger looked at me when I said this and I think he was
scared for me…. He knew the look and he knew there was no talking me down….
So the auction item please noting to big…..I mean you know I
don’t have loads of money but I wanted to win…
So the item reveled…, it was the 1st book of Chef
Michal’s newest cookbook to be released in a month or so, it is already a
number one book with all the preorders sold online. Well that sounded fun and not to expensive you
know its 30 dollar cookbook…
So the auction was off… it went to 100.00 and then 10 increments…I
just kept my hand in the air and people very quickly realized this woman was taking
it. And take it I did…. Chef Michal was so thrilled with my tenacity. I won the
price $400.00. That was nothing I am able to leave a small piece of me here on the
island and this community and I was so happy to be able to leave a piece of me
here, I was so happy and I have never done any this thing like, as most of you
know I’m pretty cheap and we need the money but I had to do it...It was an amazingly
selfish thing that I did for me and it felt wonderful, and it was all about me…I
think for once it was the first times in my life.
So after winning the auction I was invited to go on stage
with him and, he had a gift for me, a bottle of French champagne he brought
over from France this year, it was like a 100 bottle of champagne for me.
But, it wasn’t that easy, he was teaching me how to cut the top
off the bottle with a saber???
Are you kidding…lol
He gently showed me
how you stroke the bottle with the saber softly and aiming for the glass
knuckle on the top of the bottle. Then when you are feeling comfortable you hit
it hard and the top will cut off, the whole glass top. I was struggling holding the bottle and the
saber was very heavy s o I leaned over and I just said I don’t have the strength,
so he held my hand firm and helped me do it. It was amazing the glass neck came
off and we drank French champagne on the stage.
Everyone cheered my name and it was so wonderful… Rutger has a video to
post of it. So how much more excitement can I have?
Well … more than you can possibly know!!!! But you will, because
here is the rest of the story…..
After the event is over, Chef Michael comes over sat down
with me and hands me the number 1 book off the press and said here you go you
should be the one to open it. He brought over an elaborate plastic box filled
with stamps ink pads and various sharpies. He explained to me that this box has never
left his office before. He pulled out a red stamp of a maple leaf and explained
that he carved it himself and that it is special as every cookbook that leaves
his office is hand stamped by him with this logo. Then he pulled out a blue
stamp and stamped the book again… he wrote a little blurb in my book and handed
it to me… He explained that this was a very special book to him his baby and he
loved it. I felt very blessed to have it cradled it in my arms…He then gave me
four of his original drawings that he had done for his first cook book, he
handed me four of them and said there is less than 200 of them in circulation,
again I was so honored and touched by them they meant a lot to him, so I will
have them framed. His manager came over and asked what day it was and I told
her that this was my anniversary day of 9 months of survival and a new feeling
came over us all, I shared my journey quickly with Chef Michael and his staff
and they were blessed by my words. We talked a little bit and then Chef Michal
and his staff asked me if I would come to the test kitchen next week and work
with them and taste some recipes that are going into the next cookbook and Chef
Michael would like to have lunch with me and spend the afternoon with me… what could
I say but I would be honored to do this with this wonderful gentle man would like
to spend time with me. Rutger and I are so freaking blessed and then he is
going to put a list of all the best places for me to go and eat at while we are
here... Can you believe it…?
How can we ever beat recoup day 8… I don’t know but Rutger
and I are going to try…..
Lots of pictures to share….
I am so blessed don’t hate me… but I will let you envy me….lol
Tuesday, 22 July 2014
-
- This is our new home and this is a few pictures of our view......
-
- Hope Stone We are south side near Victoria by the sea we can see the confederation bridge on the horizon
- Maureen Molony We had some of our best family vacations in New London Bay. It's one of my favourite places.
- Hope Stone Very it's weird I go out and it's so peaceful. I cry and then it's beautiful so I cry. It's just tears running down my face for everything. In such a wus
- others like this.
- Hope Stone no rented it for 7 weeks. It is very cheap by the week and brand new no one ever been in here dishes everything brand new so nice and clean and therapeutic. you guys can come for a week if you can we have room
- Candace Gonyea-Loyst Oh wow! Thats awesome!
I would LOVE to drive up there, but funds are just really really tight right now. You guys enjoy your time together - Joanne Skirrow Van Giesen wow, you could not get much nicer than that, I can imagine that you are going to enjoy that lovely deck.
- Lisa Morgan Slack The ocean has such a profound effect on me. I love the way it makes me feel so small....
- Hope Stone It really is nice and Marisa every freaking room trim wall blind everything is white on white on white. But you know what it feels cleansing and therapeutic and right for me.
- Hope Stone What a change. No colour. Lol. But the red dirt and green grass and blue water gives me all the colour is good.
- Marisa Howard So calming. You could always add colorful accessories. Pick up a sewing machine and some fun fabrics and make some throw pillows. You would love that!
- our view...
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