Monday, 30 June 2014

Sorry one more thing....This is the song that's on my heart today...I just wanted to share with you. I feel you are all in a circle around me holding hands and sending me your love, prayers and support....Sing it from the bottom of your heart.....I can hear it now.............
Bill Withers - Lean On Me [with lyrics]
I just had an urge to make another video lol There you have it: Bill Withers's original Lean On Me [with lyrics] Hope yall enjoy x]
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June 30th
  • Well Team Awesome....Today the fight begins.....I hope you have your fighting stance ready and your prayer warrior face on....I will need all the prayer and support from you wonderful people... I do not pretend that this is going to be a cake walk or anything like this...The next 14 days I will be fighting to live....with everything inside of me....I am scared, I am optimistic, I am numb, the tears have dried up and know I am ready to fight. I would like to believe that God has an amazing power can reach down and touch me and heal me. I also believe that we live in a world where God can chose to use the doctors to administer that healing. I also believe that God now seldom chooses to heal and that he lets nature take its course..I am no one special and there are so many children and teenagers dying daily because of this horrible disease and many others, I would prefer he he took my miracle and used it on them to give them longer lives.. I am not a martyr by any means I think just practical is the word...I mean I want to live, I have so much living left it me it's not funny...I want so many more years with my husband and family. I want God to use me to bless others and help where I can..I have so much more life in me...Last Monday when I went to the doctors I was so positive that he was going to tell my tumour was gone...I was so sure. I think that is why I took the news so hard about the cancer spreading to my brain.. How can this happen and then to find out there is more than one tumour that there are dozens and dozens in my poor brain, well it just rocked my world. It brought it back to the beginning when I found out I was terminal, I think this time it was even harder on me.. I had just started believing and planning a future again so with one big whoop there it was again.I was blind sided, I was feeling to safe and confident...there it is death staring me in the face again and this time making it even uglier. I know so many people have said its only hair but its my hair and its my one crowning Glory that no matter how ugly I felt my hair is the one thing that made me feel good...If anyone else would like to shave their hair off to support me, I welcome you to as its only hair...I could perhaps handle it if it was to grow back but chances are it wont the radiation kills the hair follicles, so at least your hair will grow back if you choose to support me...I know it is prideful and I accept that and confess it and I ask God if he can't spare my life would he spare my hair but again feel I know the answer a head of time...sorry another pun...Maybe this is another lesson I need to learn..That my beauty is on the inside maybe I'll become one of those girls who has a wonderful personality.. You know the kind I mean...lol I believe that is the kind way of saying it...lol
    But you know I just really am beginning to fell like Job, I don't say that there is none more righteous in the land but I feel like every time something is being stripped away from me and then another friend bites the dust, its amazing how many start his journey and then tire of it and i can understand that, but i am so glad that so many other have chosen to stand beside me and fight. I am so blessed..
    This time with the radiation I think, I will think about pac man eating all the white circles in my brain.making him weaving in and out chasing them down and i can here the music as it eats its way through all the shit..So I go today for 1230.. it will be a longer appointment the first time as they have to measure the size of my brain..maybe that's the thing that I should me most worried about it....lol Then they will finish with the measurements and tape my head down to the table so I can't move and then they will radiate one side of the brain and then the other side...It takes about 20 minutes. then home again.. It is a hour 15 minutes to get there park go in and 2o minute radiation and then home again. so lots of driving and that's what gets very tiring.So my dear friends...I dress myself in my battle gear and put on my TWANDA face and go forth one day at a time and walk my journey. Only knowing that when I get tired walk and feel week in this journey, I will have you my wonderful friends to support me and pick up my banner and help to carry me forward until I am rested and go forth again....thank you for your support love and strength and faith.... Here I go TWANDA!!!!!!!!!
    Pac-Man intro music
    the legendary Pacman jingle which reminds us that the good memories Le légendaire jingle de Pacman nous rappelant que des bons souvenirs
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