Well, I have slept slept and slept more.. I think I just did moths of sleeping and I finally feel refreshed. Finally. I actually feel like I had a normal day yesterday and it feels good. I went to the nurse practitioner yesterday at 1:00 and discussed my care with her. It was a hard conversation but a good one. My daughter Jaime Rikki Wilson drove me and came in with me and I( was very glad she did. After that she brought me home tucked me in for a nap and I had a nice 11/2 nap then got up and puttered around till 7:30 then Alisha Morgan and I did a quick run to food-land and the mail. I was exhausted but I tried to stay up till 9:30 so I could go to bed at a regular time. See if I can get my life back on a schedule of some sorts. I slept straight through till 3:30 this morning and when I woke up I felt rested.... What a wonderful, wonderful feeling. I felt rested. I was beginning to wonder if that would ever happen again. The last few days have been really really hard. I was wondering if this is how I am going to feel for the rest of my life and it didn't feel very good.. I have been so weak, and not eating and dizzy and cold and just no energy, no life no anything, just laying in bed....I though if this is the rest of my life I don't think I can live it like this...this is not living at all....
The last few days I have been in bed and very low....It has been really hard on so many levels. Mentally, physically and spiritually. I do not make a good sick person at all. I am a doer and laying around is not good for me, but when you feel so bad what are the other choices? Well, I was reminded yesterday.... Count my blessings... Count my blessings..... a friend who has been struggling with this fight for 10 years reminded me to count my blessings.. It was her birthday and she was counting hers.. and I felt ashamed that I had lost my way so easily... And so proud of her in all that she does and who she is. I needed to be reminded.. It is so hard to get distracted by other things. I wanted to share what she posted as there is nothing else to say.. Count your Blessing....
I love you all so much and you are on my blessing lists....
Teresa Bell
I have been given many, many gifts in my life. I am a very blessed person. Recently I learned about counting gifts...counting the gifts God has given me day to day. This in itself has become an awesome gift...this "counting of gifts". This morning, on my 45th birthday, I awoke and it was one of those awesome awakenings when your mind is immediately alert. I started counting gifts.....
1) the weight of my body on the soft mattress
2) the presence of my husband next to me
3) the warmth of my blankets
4) the knowledge my children were all sleeping in comfortable, safe places
5) my body does not hurt anywhere at this moment
6) my body will have strength to rise out of bed
7) this is my tenth birthday celebration since being diagnosed with cancer
My heart feels peace, my body feels comfortable, my family surrounds me, my God loves me and I have been given yet another day to play in this awesome playground he created for me. Life is good!blessings my dear friends.. Count your blessings....
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