Good Morning Team Awesome
And Happy Happy Birthday to me!!!! That may sound strange but I think for the first time in my Life I truly understand and accept Happy Birthday. I’m sure I’m not the only one but most of my life I felt like I was an accident not sure of why I was here and definitely not feeling very celebrated or wanted. I have felt unloved, unwanted, and unimportant for most of my 51 years. As this birthday started creeping up; I was just going to let it pass. Last year’s birthday sucked so badly as I was so sick and didn't know it even though my mom tried so hard to have a surprise party for me and make it special. I just laid in the jeep while the party was on wanting to be home in bed. Of course we all know that it was a week later we found out exactly how sick I was. My birthdays never turn out to be what I expect. My birthday hardly ever got celebrated on the day as; I am a turkey baby so it was always easier just to celebrate on thanksgiving when everyone is here. I cook for thirty people do the majority of the clean-up and usually no birthday cake as there is pie aplenty and I'm always extremely thankful for 12 Disk dvd set on sharks and shark attacks I received...lol It has always just been a day I just wanted to get through it, yet still deep down hoping someone would make it special for me. This year I considered just to let it pass quietly as this year really has sucked, but then I thought of all the years I have to celebrate this is one. I should be celebrating, because haven’t I been given the ultimate gift.....THE GIFT OF LIFE, despite all the odds I'm here, I'm alive and living the best I can, through hard and easy times, through the ups and downs., I can’t be an accident. I’m here and there must be a purpose. I guess this is another gift cancer has given me... the gift and the freedom to finally realize, I am a created being with a purpose, that I am fearfully and wonderfully made, that I was not an accident. That God even knows the number of hairs on my head (although a lot less counting right now) but even in that every told me I would not grow hair back well guess what I have stubble. So this year I decided to give me my own party that way I can’t be disappointed and I make sure it doesn't just pass by unnoticed. I invite family and a few friends to have supper with me at the Golden Valley so I don’t even have to cook...lol I even ordered me a special birthday cake. I will celebrate the life I have and try to make the best of it for as long and God allows me to be here. To enjoy every day and every blessing I have. Which is all of you, you really are my blessings and you have showed me so much that I am loved cared about and have a purpose, you have taught me what it truly means to be loved and accepted for who I am that I am a good person and this cancer sucks and it isn't fair that I have it...but also I have great confidence that when my battle is ending I will look out and be surround by my team awesome one way or another. I can never thank you enough for the support you have given me and Brad. Your love, casseroles soup, visits, cards, flowers, and the continued pray etc., that you do for us has demonstrated what true love is. Thank you for my birthday gifts they are the best and will be with me long after the special day is over. If you are in the area tonight and want to stop in for a piece of cake around 730 please do so or if you If you want to join us for supper than I need to know asap for seating we will be there at 6. I have one birthday prayer, please ask God to please heal my face...not vanity but having medical problems with the swelling. Love you all and Happy Birthday to me....Remember you are loved and are celebrate this day also..... |
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